Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sleep is the New Sex...and Things that Piss Me Off

I read in a recent NYT article that, for parents, "sleep is the new sex." Got a good chuckle out of that. I'm fortunate not to have forgone one for the other yet, but I totally get where this is coming from!


I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but I'm kind of tired of hearing people say "Cherish every moment with your little one" and other variations. I understand the sentiment--they do grow up so fast and you never get these moments back (unless you count video)! But c'mon, do I really have to cherish EVERY moment? The diaper disasters and the screaming fits? Waking up in the middle of the night and the worry that comes when your child is sick? I reserve the right to enjoy MOST of them. Plus, it makes the speaker sound a little bit like they regret something. Feel free to call me an ass.

On the topic of things that irritate me...why don't other parents accept that we know our minds about having only one child? That's all we want, all we're planning for, and I make no judgment about the numbers of other people's broods. But if I could have a nickel for every time a parent has given me that condescending smile and said, "Oh, you think one is easier? Just wait..." and then proceeds to assure me that my child will be a monster or hellion demanding all of my time and lacking in social skills...I'd be buying my house in cash. You know what? I was an only child (yes, I have half siblings but they didn't come along until I was a teenager). I know some who know me might say: SEE, you're a freak! Guess what? I read a lot, and wrote a lot, and kept out my parents' hair. I didn't turn into a sociopath. I used my--gasp--imagination.

So please, I know two kids play together and that bigger families are cool, and in general I dig the idea of siblings, but it's not in our plan. That is not our choice. Why is that so hard to accept??

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Just when I was feeling like I had somewhat of a handle on this mothering gig, especially around our dreaded issue of sleep, someone comes along to remind me that I don't have the ovaries to teach my child how to sleep properly. This person didn't do so purposely or in so many words--she was simply discussing her style of teaching her child and the children she nannies for to sleep. I'm envious, in fact, that she has been so successful. But once again I'm up against that wall: follow the Dr. Sears, gentle, loving baby-first approach that suggests letting them cry it out alone is unnecessarily stressful, or follow the gazillion other "experts" who suggest that it does no harm and it's just weakness and bad habits on the parents part for not going through with this tough-love system.

Maybe I am weak and afraid of putting us all through nights of screaming. I honestly don't know. I can't sort out my instincts from the external input.

And the reason I even talked to this woman is that our wonderful babysitter who is so good to our son and so flexible, is moving. In two weeks.

I'm bummed and this is a crappy post.