Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sleep is the New Sex...and Things that Piss Me Off

I read in a recent NYT article that, for parents, "sleep is the new sex." Got a good chuckle out of that. I'm fortunate not to have forgone one for the other yet, but I totally get where this is coming from!


I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but I'm kind of tired of hearing people say "Cherish every moment with your little one" and other variations. I understand the sentiment--they do grow up so fast and you never get these moments back (unless you count video)! But c'mon, do I really have to cherish EVERY moment? The diaper disasters and the screaming fits? Waking up in the middle of the night and the worry that comes when your child is sick? I reserve the right to enjoy MOST of them. Plus, it makes the speaker sound a little bit like they regret something. Feel free to call me an ass.

On the topic of things that irritate me...why don't other parents accept that we know our minds about having only one child? That's all we want, all we're planning for, and I make no judgment about the numbers of other people's broods. But if I could have a nickel for every time a parent has given me that condescending smile and said, "Oh, you think one is easier? Just wait..." and then proceeds to assure me that my child will be a monster or hellion demanding all of my time and lacking in social skills...I'd be buying my house in cash. You know what? I was an only child (yes, I have half siblings but they didn't come along until I was a teenager). I know some who know me might say: SEE, you're a freak! Guess what? I read a lot, and wrote a lot, and kept out my parents' hair. I didn't turn into a sociopath. I used my--gasp--imagination.

So please, I know two kids play together and that bigger families are cool, and in general I dig the idea of siblings, but it's not in our plan. That is not our choice. Why is that so hard to accept??


At 10:52 AM, Blogger tricia stirling said...

what about this one: Oh, he's sooo cute. wait until he's a teenager though!Then you're in for it.
i got a lot of that.
i was an only child too! definitely think it builds imagination skills. maybe that's why we write!

At 2:37 PM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

Tricia, ugh. That one will definitely bother me, and I know we'll get it once he's past babyhood.

Nice to hear from you. I agree that onlys have to be more imaginative. Not that those with siblings aren't...but when it's you and your toys, what else are you going to do?

At 5:18 PM, Blogger swankfitch said...

I remember, back when you were a responsible parent for actually figuring out if you could afford one kid. When you considered what kind of impact having a child would be on the world. Now, you are a responsible parent for having a second, so it can entertain the first (or vice versa.) The questions are more frequent...Are you having another? What about a brother or sister for your son? He'd be such a big help if you had another, you are going to have another, right? I'm always polite. Always. But, I’m afraid one day I may not be polite: Nope -- done, I’m barren, used my last egg on him, I’m 41, you know. He’s the only one for us, he broke my uterus. More? Are you crazy? We hawked our house to have this one, and in this real estate market? No, not for us, there is no “private” time for us, we co-sleep, you know. Or then again, I could try being honest…Thanks for asking, we made a conscientious decision to only have one child.

At 5:28 PM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

Karen you crack me up! I like the "he broke my uterus" line. I might use that one.

I am going to fall back on the conscious decision to have only one line too. It is the truth. That and one feels as much as I can handle, though in an ideal world (where I had endless energy, sleep, money and patience) i like the idea of two. But reality...
we really need to meet in person. I'm sorry I never make it to anything. I work for myself and the kid seems to be napping through many get togethers.

At 8:42 PM, Blogger Patry Francis said...

Another semi-normal only child here. As we all know, happy families--as well as unhappy ones--come in all sizes. A tight, loving circle of three is a beautiful configuration.

At 8:15 AM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

Thanks Patry!
I was an only but my parents were divorced and so I was bounced back and forth. Ben has a much more stable family life and I think he's going to be just fine!


Post a Comment

<< Home