Perro Problema

I have been intending to learn Spanish for a long time, and have come to almost feel criminal for not speaking it while living in California. So you can imagine the irony that I am forced to learn a small vocabulary of Spanish words in order to speak to my neighbors. They consist of, and loosely translate to something like this:

--Your dog barking always.
--Please, I no sleep.
--All nights dog barking.
--Big problem your dog, me no sleeping.


Right now I am working on the phrases (which sound like some kind of crazy Haiku, don't they?):

--Your dog not stop barking, me go fucking nuts.
--Me not know why dog disappear suddenly, no
--Gate open? Dog gone? How bizarre!