Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Since I haven't got much new to say I thought I would post something I've been musing on for awhile (and since this is my only public place to muse...):

Jordan's Rules for Polite Society

1. If you cut me (or someone else) off in traffic--please have the courtesy to drive FASTER than me so I do not suffer a concussion as I slam on the brakes.

2. When you make a bm in a public restroom it is YOUR JOB to see that it makes its way down the toilet. While you may fear embarrassment by asking the sales clerk for the plunger, trust me your humiliation is far less than what I will have to suffer later on.

3. Please remember that some people do not have good relationships with their parents. Their parents might be hobo gypsies who steal wallets for a living, and therefore money is a touchy subject altogether. They might be dead or addicted to glue-sniffing. To avoid looking like a raving boob or getting punched, stay away from comments that suggest the answer to any particular material crisis is to "just borrow some cash from the folks."

3A. Please remember that some people do NOT see living in debt now, commuting more than 1hr to work each way to work and living in some pop-up condominimum as viable ways to acquire equity. See #3 above to avoid similar consequences of such suggestions.

4. Don't assume you can tell someone's age by looking at them. Ban the phrase, "That was probably before your time," especially when the subject is video games or roller coasters (though I do thank the kind gentleman who believed I was 21 or younger!).

More to come. Feel free to add your own in the comments.


At 9:09 AM, Blogger Ms. Theologian said...

Well, I can't really top the bm one. :)

One issue that comes up around here is that you cannot disagree with without people threatening to call the cops. It's like this recent interaction at the gas station:

Me: Here's my credit card to pay for gas.

Someone else: What's your zip code?

Me: (gives zip code)

Someone else: Your card is no good.

Me: Yes, it is. I'm way way way under the limit. The card is fine.

Someone else: No, it's not. You want me to call the cops!?!

Uhm. No. No, I don't. I want to be able to speak and disagree without being threatened with jail time.

At 9:31 AM, Blogger tracer said...

They're all so true. So sad and so true.

Nobody should ever tell somebody else to smile (I don't even think professional photographers should be allowed to demand this) especially not strangers passing on the sidewalk.

And if you insist on telling me to smile then you better be telling EVERYONE to smile: the tattoo artist smoking on the corner, the man coming out of the dentist's office, the 7-11 store clerk. Then I will know you are eithe crazy or foolish and not simply sexist.

At 10:31 AM, Blogger J said...

Or how about when people on the freeway come up behind you at mach 1 and ride your ass while your driving in the fast lane. So you move over to let them pass and then they don't pass. WTF!

At 12:15 PM, Blogger Patricia said...

or how about when you have expected for 6 years your child's father to meet him and one day he comes and says: to meet him, you must first change him to another school. WTF!

At 12:17 PM, Blogger Patricia said...

hehe, doesn't it happen all the time to everybody? OK... allow me to imagine that this is the most common thing, please.

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

Stephanie: Oh my god...what kind of slap-happy clerk would threaten the cops on someone like you for something like that??

Tracy: OH! I HATE THAT. A coworker of mine goes further when I come in not smiling: she takes her fingers and simulates a smile with her own mouth, in case I am too dumb to remember how.

J: Yep, that's a variation on the one that I hate, too.

Patricia: OH...this one hurts my heart a little. I'm sure though that there are more people who can relate to you than you realize.


Post a Comment

<< Home