Miscellanious

You remember how I was all nature-girl about bugs and stuff a couple weeks ago? Remember that? Yeah, well that was before we found a black widow...eating another spider outside our garage. Now I have the heebie-jeebies and can't even put my hand in any contained space without first having to attack it with a towel.

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In happier news, I got my agent contract today in the mail. They even spent extra money to send it in this fancy bubble wrap. I like contracts. Most people fear them, feel bound by them. Not me. They make me happy.

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I'm going to a media mixer put on by Mediabistro with Joy and Marcia tomorrow night and you know what a tizzy this sent me into? I have NO-thing to wear. Or rather, I have the same old things I always wear and somehow this makes me feel a little bit like I did in middle school when I could only afford to shop at Clothestime and the rich girls all knew it and teased me something fierce. The problem is, my wardrobe doesn't reflect my bank account anymore, but my attitude. Somehow I'm still afraid of fine fabrics and fancy things. I don't quite believe I'm allowed to wear them. People will know I am a pretender, that I never did know or care about fashion and that I'm always out of date. I hope they don't laugh at my shoes.

And then there's the whole business of "mixing" which can rub my slightly anti-social personality type the wrong way. Most of my friends don't believe that I'm anti-social because they've all seen me do the opposite. But what I don't show is how incredibly awkward I really feel, and how groups make me feel as though I must be winning and charming and say funny, smart things. Instead, I think I just come off like a snob or like some kind of insane social butterfly. I hate that. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

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The funniest thing to happen today? In trying to get our health benefits set up, we had to call this number that Kaiser gave us to get our cards sent to us. So I had E. call it. He starts laughing and gestures for me to come listen. I put my ear to the phone expecting bad muzak on hold and get..."I'm Tiffany and I'm here for your pleasure..." The woman who gave me the number had tranposed them and sent me to a phone sex line! Is that awesome or what?