I always thought that animals were hard-wired to remember where they get food, so that they could keep on going back to get that food. Therefore, I've decided that my cat has that kind of amnesia where he can't form any new long-term memories, perhaps brought on by a tumble when trying to descend his bulk from a fence, or in one of those terrifying, hair-flying cat fights he used to have with our old neighborhood cat. It's hard to say when it began.

Because every day he sells me the same, waif story. I'm hungry. You're never going to feed me. Oh god, I'm dying of hunger!!! You cruel human eat your juicy, tasty human food while I, all 20 insane pounds of me, must live on mosquito hawks and the particles I dig out of the carpet!

It is the same song every day, no matter that I have fed him (and some would say over-fed him) for the past nine years every day of his life with me. If I have not personally been there to feed him, my husband has, or we have had some kind soul stay in the house to do the job. This is not a cat who has gone without feeding, I promise you:

So the only other option is that he's obsessive compulsive. And trust me when I say that I am not being facetious.