Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Every day I wait with great certainty for the magnificent piece of news sure to be in the mail. Every day. Without fail. And each time I am wrong, when there is nothing more than that stupid envelope full of coupons I never use, or a mailer for ten percent off that dentist I never go to, or a reminder about the next American Bach Soloist concert, I feel gypped by the universe for failing to bring me the very good news I deserve.

What kind of news?

Requests from literary journals to publish my stories. Love letters from small publishing houses as to why they MUST publish my novels. Contracts from agents.

But you see, I am no fool. Most good news comes either by phone or email. There are a few exceptions, and I certainly would have thrown away a couple of pieces of great news if I trashed every envelope that looks sure to bear a rejection.

But still...what strange spark in me keeps this persistent hope alive? Is it sort of an addiction? Should I force myself not to check the mail, to let E. get it when he comes home, to stave off my hunger for NEWS?

Truth is, I'm awaiting just as much news by email. News on the large CPB grant we applied for that would fund Word by Word in a way it has never been funded. Word from editors regarding queries. Word from friends about THEIR good news.

At any rate, I had a wonderful conversation with an acupuncturist today for an article I'm writing. This man is actually an MD, also, and one of the first doctors back in the 70s to investigate this crazy magic known as acupuncture. (For those who don't know, my father has been an acupuncturist since I was a little girl, also, so it's kind of in the foundation of my childhoo). What he said made me so happy I wanted to cry or hug him or something...he said that acupuncture works because everything, and everyone is energy. Physicists have been telling us this. Einstein told us this years and years ago...but still, this attitude is slow to trickle into mainstream ideology. We still think we are the blunt, solid object of our bodies. We think we are the laser-point focus of our brains. But we fail to understand that energetic, electric connection that makes our body, our brain, our feelings, our intuition and more work together, and that is whatever this energy is, the very basic stuff of being, present at the big bang, possibly before.

The Chinese have not questioned that energy can and should be manipulated, that it can be redirected, balanced, shifted and used to manifest things. I think that George Lucas really stumbled on the true secret of the universe when he came up with "the force" in Star Wars. It is a power that can be harnessed for whatever purpose one has, evil or good...

I feel ever more validated all the time that energy is the bottom line for everything, that it is the answer to all my questions and the key to happiness...staying open, knowing what you want, and not allowing yourself to be cut off from it for too long. That's my recipe.



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