Status Report

Days without coffee: 0. That's right. I broke today. HOWEVER, the making of it I can blame on Mr. E, and the drinking of it I can blame on the dark, slimy addict who lives in my chest...but funny enough, it wasn't all that yummy, though man was I PRODUCTIVE today. Coincidence? I doubt it. I'm back off for the rest of the week and weekend if I can keep the slimy addict at bay.

Days without refined sugar: 5. That's right; the most obscene glucose-based product to enter my digestive tract has been dried figs. Albeit, they're SWEET, but it's not a hostess cupcake, you know? (mmmm, cupcake, grrrrllllrrrg).

Cups of tea consumed this day: 4. Only 1 caffeinated.

Number of times I shooed our nearly-obese cat away from food bowl as he howled in emotional subjugation of his intolerable feelings of abandonment? Uncountable.

Bike Rides up formerly impossible hill reinvigorating pride in the human machine: 2. That's right, babies. These lungs are getting stronger! Plus I had to take a break from jogging.

Page-mark achieved in new novel: 170. (Hey, vote for your favorite title: "Strange but Familiar" or "Going Home." The novel has to do with family. Estranged family members getting to know each other again out of circumstance. Post it here at the blog if you don't mind. I'm serious! Marcus--I see you there. You never say hello).

Overdue checks from already published articles and projects: 5. I won't tally the cash. It will make both of us cry.

Also...

-Followed up with agent who holds Shaky Grounds fate in "their" hands. Received "will read it this weekend response." Woo-hoo! -Received one new freelance assignment from a new publication source ("The Writer" Magazine).

In other news...

The snail rager

I don't drink beer, but snails do, apparently. Not that I'd have to spend much on a mini-kegger just for them, they have no preference, but if they're munching a little too freely on one's marigolds, for instance, a little beer in a deep cup will make sure they never munch again...though the word will get out around the neighborhood that there's beer on the block, and they're too dumb to understand that beer= death so i will likely get a horde. However, in the absence of beer, one can substitute yeast and water. In the absence of pure yeast and water, one might get creative and see how a dissolved chicken bullion cube works (it's GOT yeast in it, number one, and for fuck's sake, the critters like Dog Food, so how picky can they be?). Either my cat will drink it, the ants will overrun it, or it will work.

After Martha Beck's "Leaving the Saints" I am LONGING for scintillating, non-fiction reads on spirituality...gripping stories that I can't put down...tales of transformation and redemption, epiphanies and nirvanas...do you know of any? Please recommend. And RIP Terry Schiavo...finally the poor woman is at peace!

Tune in next time for: Tips on Zero Waste; The Pub Crawl; My little brother's 16th Birthday extravaganza. JPR