Thursday, March 03, 2005

I, Wallflower.

Something has come over me. I used to be gregarious, outgoing, often told I was a "social butterfly"--which I have always hated. What a dumb term anyway; butterflies aren't social, they're survivalists, maybe, but not out trading gossip, people! I hate comparisions between unlike things come to think of it, or exaggerations, when someone says, "he was literally ten feet tall.", you mean figuratively!

Such a snob am I.

But now, also, apparently, a wallflower. I've become shy, reluctant, reticent. Carl Jung apparently said that in one's thirties or thereabouts the "inferior" aspects of oneself become more dominant. So now that my flirty, busy, attention-seeking, mate-drawing days are essentially over, I'm letting out the quiet self. This works very well for my writing. I don't miss people now that I see them less. Well, I miss individual people, but I used to crave the stimulation of interaction and I just don't anymore. It takes work. Maybe this is the result of too much time spent behind the microphone on the radio. I've gotten used to asking YOU the questions, of disappearing behind the identity of host or interviewer.

Speaking of radio, all of you who are passing through today, hold a little prayer for BIG MONEY...we're applying for another grant, a much larger grant than the one from the National Endowment for the Arts, and this is one that could use all the visualization help a person can spare.

Meanwhile, novel writing this week has been essentially tossed aside for deadlines and work, which makes me very, very cranky. I've got big character issues on hold. Is Yuri going to get more involved with the now cancer-stricken Lenore, whom he has not really liked, but for reasons he can't fully answer to himself. Is he going to discover yet who this mysterious "Hiram" is that his mother keeps talking about? Will Thea give up her life on the commune and stay? Will she fall for Milo?

Tune in next time!

P.S. I've decided to put a key search word at the bottom of every post, something like -- Lindsey Lohan -- to see if it brings any new visitors to my blog.


At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

*I've decided to put a key search word at the bottom of every post, something like -- Lindsey Lohan -- to see if it brings any new visitors to my blog.*

Hahaha! You are a PISSER! And hey, guess what? If you Google George Clooney, and you keep scrolling through the first 677,000 pages that come up, you might reach one with my name on it!

At 11:34 AM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

Ellen, I bet a lot of people DO Google George Clooney, and there have to be enough of them tenacious enough to get to your page...though I'll bet it rises higher soon.



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