Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Eightfold Plastic
I thought credit card companies had sunk as low as they could possibly go, outside of handing free cards to children in schoolyards like cheap drugs. Then Citizen of the Month, a new blog I stumbled onto, has brought to my attention that now you can buy enlightenment on credit...and with moderate interest for the first 3 months.

Below is text from the Visa website (showing picture of a hippie yoga girl) [the bold comments are me, embodying what I believe the ad execs who designed this ad really meant.]

Finally, a credit card for people like us [you know, priveleged people with trust funds]

Some people say money is evil… [
But they're obviously poor and stupid]

We say “how” money is used determines the effect. [Thai massage with hooker=ok; Thai massage with young Thai boy= not ok]

The Enlightenment Card was founded on the idea that money is energy and if used with positive and integrative intention, can have the power to affect change in our lives and the world [but we'd be happy just getting wicked rich] Everyone uses a credit card [all your friends are going into debt, why not you?] so why not have one where people can earn points towards positive products and services that enhances their overall “Conscious” life path? [See our line of "you can be a hippie too" cards coming out in Spring]Some of the categories of rewards you can earn points toward are yoga classes, organic products, retreats + workshops, travel, books + DVD’s, personal care, spa treatments [see note on Thai Massge above], and more…And, members can even redeem their points to make donations to charities such as Trees for the Future. [A non-profit dedicated to making fake trees out of recycled credit cards, after all the real trees are dead].


What self-respecting person would get one of these cards?

JPR

12 Comments:

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Neil said...

Oh no! There is nothing that kills the male ego faster than seeing someone write about the same thing -- and be 100 times funnier!

You got is so right. Have you seen anything more obnoxious than this card?

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

Well you can take credit, Neil, for bringing my attention to this crime against...well maybe not humanity, but people's self-identity. And don't worry, Neil, I used up about six months of my humor quotient in this post...

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger E. said...

Don't they have a Christian credit card where you can earn points toward salvation? Or use them to save some poor heathen, pagan, communist, hippie bastard democrat? Maybe have a print of the Pieta on the card? Or John the Baptists severed head? Something like that?

 
At 12:59 PM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

E: (I died laughing). I think you have a future in credit card marketing :)

If they're just giving people what they want, as they claim, then where's the "big titty, spread cheeky" card?. You earn points to your favorite porn sites, "special" massages and hookers :)

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger J said...

I'm speechless!!

 
At 2:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd prefer they were just honest and called it the MotherFucker card. You know, by motherfuckers, for motherfuckers.

 
At 3:25 PM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

J: Speechless? That IS shocking.

 
At 5:47 AM, Blogger Jim said...

If this wasn't so sad, it would be really sad.

 
At 2:24 AM, Blogger Ellen said...

I think this is absolutely hilarious.

 
At 5:25 PM, Blogger Jesse said...

I tried to buy a toaster with my Buddhist Enlightenment Plus Rewards Mastercard, but the clerk just gave me a receipt that said, “You are free of the suffering that your attachment to a toaster would have wrought upon you. To date, you have let go of your need for 4,356 points of Enlightenment Credit.”

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

Jesse: See! I knew there was a catch.

J

 
At 6:26 PM, Blogger Patry Francis said...

Unbelievable!!!

 

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