I've given myself eye strain again, so forgive me if this is full of typos. I did this one other time. I can't figure out what conspires to produce it though...because there are just as many times I do not give myself eye strain despite how much time I spend in front of my computer. Is it the way I lean? The number of hours I spend editing versus writing? Is it when I offend myself with terrible prose? Who knows.

At any rate, last night I returned to a writing group that I last sat in on a few days before I left for my very first residency at Bennington...two years ago. This group is one that emphasizes creative process, play and letting loose. It is not a workshopping craft group. It is not a networking group. It is the most delicious, wonderful group of women and I have MISSED THEM SO! It was like sliding into a hot tub when your muscles are sore, or like eating really good chocolate on the first day of your period. It was so great to let go, to just write, and to be with these wonderful friends who seem to write directly from their guts, their souls. It really was so nourishing for me. I felt myself well up with tears of gratitude as it was happening. So good!

The group was in particularly good contrast to this sense that I should be doing something with my degree, chop chop chop, you know.

Anyway, yesterday marked a day of a sudden onslaught of new projects lining up at the plate, including some that will be a creative challenge and suddenly I felt it again, the juice of determination, the inspiration of new goals, and I realized, why fight this part of myself? I am motivated by goals and by challenges. Not even just motivated, but entirely jazzed, turned on, electrified. Why tell myself that I should be something different when this is how I work? When I get jazzed in this way, it always leads to more good things, so I think I am just going to go with it.

More soon
JPR